The 6 Drinkiest Politicians in U.S. History



Overindulging in alcohol can lead to all sorts of trouble. And yet, there are some who have battled their demons with the bottle while rising to some of the highest levels of public service. So, I might actually still get a chance to be somebody before my liver falls out. After all, look at all that's been accomplished by these guys.

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President Ulysses S. Grant

Some say that reports of President Grant's public drunkenness were vicious rumors started by his political enemies, but then again those people were probably never tasked with writing a piece about drunk U.S. Politicians. So shut up and let me do my job. And besides, no one can deny that there are some people who don't say that stories of Grant's public drunkeness were vicious rumors started by political enemies.

Indeed, some claim Grant left the army in 1854 rather then face court martial after his commanding officer, Robert C. Buchanan, found him drunk on duty as a pay officer. Another story claims that the term "lobbying" actually originated from the practice of political wheelers and dealers who frequented The Williard Hotel's lobby where Grant would often enjoy cigars and brandy.

And perhaps, the most damning evidence of Grant's drunkeness… his beard.


Sen. Joseph McCarthy

The Senator from Wisconsin who led the fight on Communism (thereby cultivating a culture of panic and needlessly destroying many innocent lives while desecrating the freedoms that make America great) was many things. But he was not a quitter.

He did not cease in his unsubstantiated accusations of Communist infiltration of the State department. He never tired in his vilifying of opponents as pinkos and Commies. And he would not quit drinking.

A full-blown alcoholic, he died from cirrhosis of the liver in 1957.

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President Richard Nixon

They called Richard Nixon "Tricky Dick," but maybe they should have called him Drinky McDrinksalot. (Well, sure it doesn't have the same ring to it. And it doesn't really convey his penchant for dirty politics which was the point of the nickname. Also, his heavy drinking wasn't common knowledge so probably only those closest to him would have really been in a position to call him that and, frankly, I just can't picture Henry Kissinger saying that. But still, it seems Nixon did like to get his drink on, so, y'know, as far as nicknames go, I guess you could do worse.)

Previously released phone transcripts indicate that five days into the 1973 Arab-Israeli war, Nixon was too drunk to discuss the crisis with the British prime minister. Of course, in Nixon's defense, Dark Side of the Moon had just come out so there is every reason to believe that what his advisors mistook for drunkeness was really just our Commander in Chief being baked out of his mind.

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Sen. John Tower

In the history of our Nation, only nine cabinet appointees have failed to be sworn in, but Senator John Tower — George H.W. Bush's choice for Secretary of Defense was one of them.

Why? Well, during his nomination hearings, conservative activist Paul Weyrick testified that Tower was "morally unfit" to serve as Pentagon Chief because of excessive drinking and womanizing. Weyrick even claimed to have witnessed this behavior on several occasions. As an aside, I'd like you to just think of times when you've been drunk and womanizing. Can you picture anyone ever observing you soberly and silent in a corner, taking notes for a future day? Boy those conservative activists are fun.

In any event, Tower publicly pledged to abstain from alcohol if he were confirmed as defense secretary. And yet, he was not. That's pretty damn drinky.

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Sen. Bob Packwood

Sometimes people gladly confess to alcoholic indulgences rather than taking full responsibility for behavior society finds more offensive. For example, when Oregon Senator Bob Packwood was confronted with multiple claims of sexual harassment by several women, he claimed the indiscretions were the result of his drinking problem.

He subsequently underwent counseling while being reviewed by the Senate Ethics Committee. After a prolonged investigation in which more women came forward, Packwood eventually resigned in 1995.

So does he belong on this list? I mean, maybe he was just a sex addict. I don't know. Perhaps, history will never know, but if a man who inappropriately makes sexual advantages on multiple women wants to be called an alcoholic and I'm writing a column on political alcoholics then I'm not going to let things like details and the truth stand in the way.


Sen. Ted Kennedy

Oh, it's easy to make fun of Ted Kennedy.

Well, not really that easy considering how close to death he is, but still easy in the sense that most people believe his drunk driving led to the death of a woman.

Wait I guess that's not funny either. And in 1991 he was partying down in Palm Beach, Florida — festivities that led to the rape trial of his nephew, William Kennedy Smith.

Damn, that's not at all humorous. Maybe alcohol abuse and the things that come from it aren't actually that appropriate for a comedy web site?

Could that be?

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Honorable Mention

You might be wondering why this article fails to mention Dick Cheney who had two DUIs or George Bush who had one. Well, maybe it's because that after eight years it's nice not to have to cover them. Congrats, boys. You didn't make the list. Drink up.

http://www.indecisionforever.com/blog/2009/03/13/the-6-drinkiest-politicians-in-us-history

10 Signs You Are Drunk
Posted by Mystery Man, January 28, 2012 5:00 AM
A lot of drunk questions land in my inbox. Some about their actions while drunk, some asking if they drink too much and some obviously written while the questioner was incredibly drunk. 
So, how do you know you are drunk? Everyone has been tipsy, but out and out drunk? Luckily, there are graduated warning signs for the initiated.

10/ You suddenly find everything funny. 
Sitcoms, news, sports, a Discovery special about Hitler, all become grist to your hilarity. If you start finding Carlos Mencia or Dave Letterman funny, call 911 and request a stomach pump immediately.

9/ Every problem in the world is suddenly solvable with a cliche or a platitude.
It doesn't matter if it is the Maple Leaf's starting line up or world hunger, you have the answer to the problem. You have now entered what people who work refer to as "the boss zone." Drink more, or risk being stuck here when you sober up.

8/ Your mouth takes on a life of its own, irrespective of what you really want to say. 
Sadly, your mouth on its own turns out to be far wittier and better company than you are when you have some control over it.

7/ You are immune to cold and heat.
We have all seen them. Snug in their beer coats and perfectly happy making snow angels in socks and a T shirt in sub zero weather before heading back into a bar. Where it is 100 degrees and 99% humidity and they still do not break a sweat.

6/ You convince yourself you can sing.
If you actively look for a Karaoke machine to monopolize, your friends are also incredibly drunk or have moved to the stage of laughing at you, not with you.

5/ You turn into Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing era.
You can normally barely manage to walk down the street without falling over, yet suddenly you can dance like a demon and want to, nay insist on it. This is one of the nicer effects of drinking. It doesn't last.

4/ When someone calls you on your dancing, you move on to Roadhouse without passing go and collecting $200.
Somewhere around your fourth spin round the dance floor, someone looks at you funny, complains that you stood on their foot, eyes up whoever you are dancing with, or, worst of all, laughs. You immediately go to Defcon 4 and flush the silos of all weapons you have.

3/ You develop an immense hunger for fats, grease and questionably hygenic food from food carts.
Ever seen the queue at a food cart or an all night mart or a kebab shop when the clubs let out for the night? Stuff you wouldn't be seen within 50 feet of is suddenly being pushed down your throat. By you. If you have made it to this point of the night sober(ish) it is a harmless source of amusement to watch veggies chowing down on bacon sandwiches. It is something about the smell .... 

2/ Everything suddenly becomes crystal clear. 
The universal harmony is right there for you to touch. The basic interconnection of all humanity is yours for the grasping. You are filled with a profound love for all beings. Note - drink again so that this stage lasts for approximately 30 seconds. Otherwise who knows what you are going to wake up next to. You really won't want to find out.

1/ You notice that you are a spinning mote. 
Even though your body repeatedly tells you it is kneeling on the floor and holding onto the toilet bowl like grim death while it clears the excesses of the night.

Tribute to Beer - An Amazing Beverage


Amazing Benefits and Extraordinary Uses of BeerAre you aware of the amazing benefits, extraordinary uses and remarkable ways we can use Beer?

Purely in the interest of schience, I have been reshearching the benefits and ushes of Beer. Let me tell you what I have learned as a schientific reshearcher.

You already know that drinking beer – in moderation – can be a pleasant pastime. Bud - excuse me - but did you know about its many significant health benefits? Here are a few complete with fascinating bits of beer trivia:

> Pass a Kidney Stone. You may have noticed that beer can be a strong diuretic. It helps flush your kidneys and bladder. Doctors tell you to drink water or cranberry juice if you have a kidney stone or a bladder infection. But beer also works. Here’s the medical explanation according to the ER Director of Central Florida Regional Hospital. “Beer helps dilate the ureters which may help you pass a stone quicker and easier. Plus the alcohol will take the edge off the pain.” Caution: do not drink beer if taking antibiotics or pain medications. The drugs become useless and you can make yourself sick. Anheuser-Busch is the largest brewery in the US.

> Calm an Upset Stomach. A highly carbonated beer helps to settle your stomach much like 7-Up, Sprite, or ginger ale. I don’t have medical evidence to support this but people tell me it works. Caution: if you have an ulcer or gastritis be aware that alcohol can inflame that. Many actors started out as bartenders: Sandra Bullock, Bruce Willis, Tom Arnold, Chevy Chase, Kris Kristofferson and Bill Cosby are a few.

> Stop the Pain of a Sore Muscle or Pounding Headache. An effective ice pack is a frozen or very cold can of beer. Hold the can – unopened – against whatever body part hurts. You can wrap a frosty can against the back of your thigh with an Ace bandage. Or strap it near your elbow after playing tennis. Metal beer cans transmit the cold very rapidly. Caution: make sure there is some fabric between your skin and the beer can to avoid frostbite. To keep your beer glass or mug from sticking to your bar napkin, sprinkle a little salt on the napkin before you set your glass down.

> Soothe Tired Feet. Pour a couple of cold beers into a bucket and soak your aching feet. Ice-cold beer with lots of carbonation can be soothing for tired feet.Molson, Inc. is the oldest brewery in North America.

> Cure Insomnia. The book, The Beer Drinker’s Bible, states that some women buy hops – used for brewing beer – to sew it into pillows. They claim that the aroma is a sleep aid that helps babies with colic. Caution: be careful if you or your child have allergies. The first brewery in America was built in Hoboken, NJ in 1642.

> Stop Snoring. All you need is a pocket T-shirt and a 6-ounce mini can of beer. Put the can in the pocket and fasten it with a safety pin. When you go to bed, put the shirt on backward. That’s because research shows you are more likely to snore when lying on your back. The can will prevent you from rolling over. Monks brewing beer in the Middle Ages were allowed to drink five quarts of beer a day.

> Lower Your Blood Pressure. Puta handful of dried hops or hops pellets (available at any home-brew store) in a coffeemaker and brew them with hot water. It produces a bitter tea that can bring your blood pressure back to normal within 10 minutes by dilating the capillaries. Caution: this is not a replacement for medication. The longest bar in the world is the 684 foot long New Bulldog in Rock Island, IL.

> Massage Yourself. A wonderful and inexpensive massage tool is a full can of beer. Take your shoes off and roll a can under your foot. Or put one in the crook of your back or between your shoulder blades and lean back against a wall. Roll it around as you do so. It will loosen up muscle tissue encouraging blood flow to the area.

I know you have probably heard ofBathing in Beer – it makes your skin soft. Bud - I mean - but, are you aware that you can use beer to:

> Shampoo Your Hair. Beer is the cure for dull-looking, listless hair. Here is how you use it. Put one cup of beer into a small saucepan and bring it to a boil over medium heat. Let it reduce until there is 1/4 cup left. This removes the alcohol, which can dry your hair. Let the beer cool and then mix it with a cup of your favorite shampoo. Pour it into an empty shampoo bottle and wash and rinse as usual. Your hair will have new shine and luster.Samuel Adams Triple Bock is the strongest beer in the world with 17% alcohol by volume. The strength is achieved by using champagne yeast.

> Tame Wild Hair. Just a few drops of beer is all you need. It is sticky enough to subdue any sudden uprising on your head or eyebrow that you spot in a mirror. Just wet your index finger and you can easily slick it down. Think of it as Miller Mousse. To get rid of the foam (head) at the top of your beer, stick your fingers in